


let me make it easy (on you)

by skywalkerz



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Sad gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skywalkerz/pseuds/skywalkerz
Summary: levi lets nico go, first.
Relationships: Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt
Comments: 6
Kudos: 120





	let me make it easy (on you)

**Author's Note:**

> anyone else mad at grey's right now???

“Levi,” 

He hears his own name in the resident’s lounge and it isn’t sweet like honey like it usually is. It doesn’t send chills down his spine and it doesn’t make his smile widen ear to ear. It just makes everything harder.

When he turns around, Nico’s in his navy scrubs as always, scrub cap still on indicating he has either left a recent surgery or heading to one. He gives Levi a half-grin and it’s almost enough to make Levi forget about everything - to just ignore what he feels and to go home with Nico and pretend like everything is fine and it’s a year ago in a windstorm and Levi is kissing Nico over and over and over again —

Levi sighs.

“Hi.”

Nico steps into the resident’s lounge from where he was previously leaning into the door frame, arms crossed.

“What’s wrong?” Levi can feel Nico’s worried eyes on him as he shoves his white coat into his messenger bag. 

“My heart was broken.”

“Levi -“

“My heart was broken and - and it was a physical condition and it made me collapse onto the ground. Literally drop to the floor in the operating room. And I felt so much pain and worry and anguish and I thought that had to be the worst thing. That happening had to be the worst pain I could feel. But it isn’t. The worst pain is you practically forcing me to come out to my mom for us, for our relationship, only to find out you won’t do it for me. The fact that your parents know nothing about you, or who I am, and I’m supposed to just…be okay with it?” 

“Levi, wait -“ Levi shrugs the hand on his shoulder Nico has placed there, and he can't help the explosion that comes out of him.

“Just quit it! Just stop trying to mold me into something you want me to be! And stop being a hypocrite, because you can’t even do the same for me!” 

His voice is doing that irritating shaking thing. It’s quivering and he can feel his eyes getting hot and filling with tears and it’s really too much after the day he’s had. 

“Levi! Just listen to me, please. I want to tell everybody about you - the whole world. And I’m so sorry. Maybe I’m just not brave like you, maybe I’m terrified of what they’ll do, what they’ll say, to me and you. And I can’t have it, Levi, I just won’t.” Nico's voice chokes out at the end, and how strange it is to see Nico vulnerable - a state he's never in.

Levi has to physically clench his fists just to not weaken at the fact that Nico’s voice is shaking too. And his eyes are teary too. He looks scared and exhausted and petrified of whatever Levi is going to say next. 

Levi feels his chest heave as he takes in a deep breath, and releases.  
“I’m staying at a hotel tonight. Maybe a couple days. Or until I find my own place. I dunno.” Levi manages to reply, shoving more belongings into his bag. His voice is apathetic but he cares so much. 

“Baby, you don’t have to do that. You can stay with me. I don’t mind.” Nico is practically pleading, looking at Levi with those eyes.- dark and begging. 

Levi swallows. It doesn’t clear the lump in his throat. 

“I said my heart was broken and you said ‘mine, too’. But I just…don’t think it really was, Nico. I don’t think you know what it’s like yet. Maybe this’ll show you.”

And he doesn’t mean for it to come off so angry, so biting and cold like he’s winter personified. But it just does. Because he’s hurt. And angry. And tired. And just wants Nico to love him as much as Levi loves him. 

“Please do not do this.” Nico grips Levi’s wrists, so hard, so hard Levi can feel his nails digging into his pulse point. It makes him sad. 

“I wanted you to be proud of me. But you never are. Not when we first kissed, not in the OR, not with your parents…”

“I am proud of you.” Nico says, hushed and soft. 

Levi has to bite his lip to cease his sobs. He just wants to fling himself at Nico and kiss him and pretend like he is alright, like they’re alright. 

He isn’t alright. 

“You should show me that you are sometime, then.” 

And Levi grips his bag against him, and he’s leaving. He’s leaving with the thought of elevator kisses, on-call room cuddles, late-night movies with his head on Nico’s heart, sharing potato chips until he’s nearly nauseous, confessing ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I miss you’s’. He’s leaving with his mind swimming of Nico and yet he knows it just isn’t enough.

**Author's Note:**

> honestly i hope these two work it out, but i just honestly think nico has some explaining to do!!!! excuse my angst, i'm sure nico does have the best intentions when it comes to levi!!! but i like writing drama sue me if you want


End file.
